Playing the Victim


Some people claim that they are a victim of circumstances. They would have succeeded if only…. they would have won the person’s heart if only… they would have arrived sooner if it wasn’t for…

You’ve heard it all before. You might have even used these excuses before, claiming “It’s not my fault.” That may be a legitimate excuse… once. After that, it stops being an excuse and it starts to define who you are.

I’m not talking about true victims like people who have been mugged, assaulted, or worse. I’m talking about your every day “I couldn’t do it because” victims. The people who would rather shift blame than take responsibility for their own actions.

Whenever you claim that you are a victim you relinquish your power and turn it over to someone or something else. Claiming the victim allows us to step back, point the finger in another direction and say “it’s their fault!”

You may be a victim once if you were unaware of something; that’s fine. No one will hold it against you if you were unaware (except the police; ignorance of the law is not an excuse) but once you KNOW and once you are AWARE then it’s all on you. If you’re consistently late to a meetings or appointments, it’s your fault for not allowing enough time. If all your relationship end badly, it’s something you are doing or not doing because YOU are the common factor in those relationships. If you’ve been fired from more than one job… well, you get the gist.

Victims remain victims because they view themselves as victims and they continue to do the things that victims do. If you want to change your outcomes, you need to change your perspective. Don’t view yourself at the “effect” end of the cause and effect equation; start looking at the “cause” end. See what you’re doing (or not doing) and change that. Only by changing the “cause” end of the equation can you change the “effect.” Don’t allow yourself to be a victim any longer. Take control of your life by being proactive rather than reactive.


Want to change your perspective and stop being a victim? We all face challenges every day: work demands, professional or career choices, personal and family relationships, or figuring out life’s purpose. Whatever challenges you are facing, this FREE consultation is for you.

During this consultation, we will look at your current situation; discuss your life’s goals, the barriers to your success, and give you personalized, and strategic feedback. You will leave with:

  1. Clarity about the business and/or life you really want to have
  2. Knowledge of the #1 thing standing in your way
  3. Powerful actions that will move you towards the business, career, relationship and life you desire

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