Everything Happens for a Reason
So… I’ve got some good news and I’ve got some bad news. First, the bad news: Like it or not, you are responsible for your life. Your life is your own creation. You have made your life everything that it is – or isn’t – with your own two hands, so if you don’t like your life or certain aspects of your life, you have only yourself to blame. You are 100% responsible.
Now, the good news: Your life is your own creation! You’ve made it what it is so that means you have the power and authority to make it what it should be, what you really want it to be! Your life truly is a product of your choices, so to change your life it’s all a matter of making different choices.
Every day we are faced with a variety of decisions. We all have the capacity to make the right or wrong decision. Why is it harder for some people to make good decisions than it is for others?
In working with my clients, I’ve noticed that most often people don’t feel they have all that many choices. One client ranted “You can’t always choose your choices!” I know what he meant, but the truth is you CAN choose your choices. Most people see a decision as A or B, black or white, no in-between. That limited view produces anxiety within the individual; when your choices appear limited it feels like you’re being forced to choose something you’d rather not; the lesser of two evils.
Through coaching, I try to show people that there really are a multitude of options. I teach people to expand their view by changing their perspective. Move to another place, see opportunities through someone else’s eyes. Your perspective can totally change not only how you see things but can change what you see. Take the following graphic for example.
I love this graphic because it illustrates how your observations change when you change your perspective. By simply looking at things from a lot of different vantage points you will start to see that things are rarely a choice between just A or B. Some options may be better in the short-term but detrimental in the long-term. Others might not be great choices in the short-term but open many avenues over the long-haul. It’s all how you look at things and what your overall goal is.
Headspace of fear vs. Headspace of abundance
Human beings operate in one of two spaces: a headspace of fear or a headspace of abundance. In the headspace of fear, decisions are short-term, quick-fix, immediate gratification, with little or no thought about long-term consequences. Fear makes us take things now, simply because we don’t want someone else to get them or because we fear those things won’t be available later. That’s why most sales and marketing offers say “Act now!” or “Limited time offer!” They play on our fears to get us to buy. Fear encourages us to take the easy path, the shortcut, and suddenly we’re faced with additional decisions born of those shortcuts and we find ourselves in a place where we no longer have the same options. Rather than choosing from “good” or “bad” our only options are “bad” or “worse.”
On the other hand, operating in a headspace of abundance means we look at and see the possibilities. Abundance tells us that “there’s plenty to go around” and “if this is gone there will be something better later.” We don’t feel cheated if someone has a better car, better home, or better job; we know that there are better things out there. By simply changing our vantage point, we can see the possibilities and then set our minds to achieve them.
We are all products of our decisions, our choices. If you can’t see the forest for the trees, change your perspective. Find a better vantage point. Better yet, find a coach who can help you see the possibilities and help you plan your path to achieve them.
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